Nang magsama ang bading, ang tibo at ang straight

Ged scouts men,

Yaya follows Ged's lead,

I

notice women.

And I wondered why Ged and Yaya seems to have this secret, unspoken language... Ha!

The many ways to sport a skirt

Late post.

March 12, 2010
Everywhere

We started with ice skating at MOA. I had to pass due to the skirt. A friend insisted I can, but he's a HE and he cannot play out the disaster I'll end up as if I skated on a pencil cut skirt. It'll either ride up on its own, 'til my tushies on full display to the skaters and passersby of the world, or it will split in two, from the middle front, which is more unlikely to happen.

Since they were determined to spend their earnings that night, we went bowling after. I looked like the coolest lola in bowling shoes and, again, the skirt. I was teamed up with Kate, Din and Josh. The opposing team, Choi, Alex, Fatima and Josh's girlfriend, was a powerhouse. While they were doing strikes, it was met with ours rolling down the gutter. Halfway into the game, Kate and I decided to just compete internally, I tried to top off Josh's score while Kate tried to catch up with Din's (futile). Kate finished our session with her taking on my turn, and beating her own score.

Next stop was at a Korean restaurant along Macapagal. Josh's girlfriend is a Korean or half- and she took on the role of hostess during dinner. I really enjoyed the food and thought it was interactive, there were a lot of side dishes you can use to mix tastes. All the while I was sitting Japanese style, on a skirt.

And because we felt the "night" was still young, it was already 2 AM, Alex drove us to Resort World. I got my very own Resort World ID, with my own picture plus 100 credits. It was processed in less than 10 mins. (the government can exchange notes with them on how to do this)! 2 hours after, Fat left the building a very contented customer.

Post shout-out (a.k.a senseless late reaction): I got home at 6:30 and realized I had been awake for 27 hours (from the day before).

Peek-a-boo

Mas malaki chance na sumama ako sa mga lakad kapag biglaan ang yayaan.
Take for example tonight. My teammate asked me to go to this inuman with our expat when our lead was already making last calls on who's coming. I said 'yezz' without much resistance. I guess the biglaan thing works for me because it does not provide me the luxury to overthink, which will usually lead me to backing out.

Anyway, I had something with strawbery and vanilla ice cream, mango, and strawberry and mango, plus a mojito (in the order I consumed them) and a supplementary of empty calories (nachos + salsa, nachos and the works, quesadillas, kebab and whatevers). Honestly, they weren't tasty. From my inexperienced tongue, esophagus and liver, I was able to tell that somewhere out there are the best version of those drinks, waiting for me to discover them.

March 26, 2010
Agave
High Street

Post shout-out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): All the while I was thinking: I am downing how many calories per glass again?

The makings of a modern woman

When Manel texted me at the respectable hour of 7 on a Sunday night, I got up from my slumped position in front of the computer and walked away from the work I've been slaving over for 2 weeks (and counting) to meet them at Starbucks, Santana Grove. What happened after is a story you'll never know :P

***********

You know how your eyes squint to block a scary scene from a movie playing in front of you and your face contorts from the anticipation of what fate may befall the heroine? I lived out my own horror story yesterday when I finally got the courage to open my old YM id.

As I typed a password I vaguely remember, I was wishing I'll get it wrong but I realized that the only way I'll be prompted with an incorrect password entered is if I did it on purpose, or if my finger slipped to replace each character with a different one. The familiar logo woke up from its slumber, bouncing once to face its user, blinking, breathing, all the while not losing the smile pasted on its roundness. Then the vertical window went white/blank, longer than usual because I was on my very old poor performing laptop. When it finally showed the list of old online friends, my mouse was already on the scroll bar, dragging it downwards, towards the end, an intimate act I thought I had already buried in my messy jumbled brain. Of course it won't cooperate. For a minute the title bar showed "(Not Responding)" and the window showed white and blank once more. But when it recovered, Yahoo! Insider opened then it popped out the thing I was dreading.

I used to imagine what that moment will be like. Really. A 100 messages at the slightest? A confined space filled with messages from the same person. A one-liner. A word. A question. A plea. A letter-long. Spills from the heart. Again, from the same person. Then sparse messages from random people. That's how I saw it when I daydream. Instead I got these: 3 text, on separate lines. 2 on that same day and the other dated September, a harmless inquiry about my life. 1 got me brooding. It's not even a word found under 'A' in Webster's. It's an expression translated into text composed of three characters. It incited images of what happened before it was sent, what was going through the person's mind and guts, and the silence that followed. What did not sit with me was the finality. The silence that came after.

Now, I can sign into my old YM id whenever I feel like it. No worries. Plus I just discovered I have been deleted from a list. I repeat, no worries.

Post shout-out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): I can now write and blur what used to be intimate and I will continue until I only produce one entry a year... then none.

Sighting

As I exited the building and the hot dry wind welcomed me, only one thing was on my mind, "OMG! I am walking away from Piolo."

I grew up with harlequins

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

I-I-I

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right

Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

This could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse than knowing you're holding back

I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

I only said it
'Cause I mean it
I only mean it
'Cause it's true

So don't you doubt
What i've been dreaming
'Cause it keeps me up
It holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

I traveled to Orbis and lost my esther shield

That was 4 years ago and I dug it up today.
I just realized how long I have been friends with the circle.

Post shout-out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): I miss my virtual life

Fixed

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why you were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

-Cranberries

After-thought

February 27, 2010 account of a curious event
12:08 AM
I was minding my steps, one foot always ahead of the other, forward... forward... forward... when I unassumingly peeked to my left through the gap in my bangs. That was when I spotted Krizzie. Gliding. Against a backdrop of tarpaulins that says: SMART LOAD NA DITO! or GLOBE AUTOLOAD MAX; and glass casings full of mobile phones. Eyes entranced by something in the distance. The roundness of the cheeks lifted high by the the corners of the lips. Odd. Though the lips were parted and showing both sets of teeth, it formed no upward arch at the corners which is presumed to hold those plump cheeks high, almost pushing the lower eyelids to touch its sibling. I looked around and everybody was minding their own steps, one foot forward, another foot forward. They don't see Krizzie. Only I see Krizzie.

Krizzie smiling fool.

Slicing and loving it. Ha!

"A master carver just died when his saw gave a kickback and sliced an artery. But I love it."
- Cherie Currie

Forer effect

Cancer
June 22 - July 23
source: http://www.astrology.com.au/12signs/cancer.asp

Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is a water sign, which signifies your highly emotional nature. Being under the sway of the element of water also makes you highly caring, generous and intuitive. You are highly evolved, even spiritual — the water signs are karmically developed and refined in spirit.

Water is malleable and adaptable. You are very much like that. You adapt when you have to, but you much prefer to make changes on your own terms.
Like water, you are soothing and nourishing too. Life-supporting energies are at the heart of your character. You will act as a support for many people — in your own family and beyond.

Oscar-winning actress Kathy Bates is a dedicated patron, funding a Beverly Hills hospital for women recovering from cancer. Guess what her star sign is? You got it — Cancer!

You are for the most part a person of feeling and sensation. Often you will ignore your own judgment and rationality, and someone’s else’s reasonable advice, in favour of how you feel. You don’t care if you’re wrong, either! If your intuition tells you to do something, like reaching out to give someone a helping hand, you’ll just do it.

Others turn to you when they need a shoulder to cry on — you’ll do well in any of the caring professions. This approach is highlighted by your key life phrase, ‘I nurture’. You find it difficult to turn away anyone in need. Anyone who knows you will agree that you are one of the best people to connect with if they need advice. Friends will turn to you if they are in trouble, knowing that your sensitive and compassionate touch will lighten their load.

You are extremely receptive to your environment and the people around you, and will often ‘pick up’ people’s energies, moods and thoughts. This ability serves you well; your intuition about people is quite often correct. Your knack of knowing people’s issues before they even open their mouths attracts them to you. The difficulty with this, though, is that you can tend to absorb their emotions — negative as well as positive.

You reflect the qualities of the changing Moon. This means that at times your emotions get the better of you, and you swing from high to low. Family and friends will be well aware of this, but they will not doubt your loyalty and supportiveness.

Another aspect of the Moon that sometimes doesn’t work well for you is its maternal nature. You sometimes veer too close to the mothering/smothering lane, which can put people off.

Back on the plus side, you love to mix with all sorts of people. Social activities are an essential ingredient in your development. You are a great success socially, because you can convey your wisdom to others so well — Cancerians have very expressive faces.

Creative enterprises are a great way to make the most of your moods and your imagination. Music and writing are perfect vehicles for you. You can express the inner part of your being as entertaining literary, art or music pieces.

Cooking is also a great outlet for you. Even if you cook as a hobby rather than as a job, you will find that it balances your state of mind over time.

Sometimes you can get locked into your own private lifestyle, and only come out at full Moon. Being a recluse is not for you, though — share your talents and love with the world. Some of this is down to your love of the night.

Because the Moon’s domain is the night, many Cancerians are night owls. From twilight on, your creativity starts to flow and you feel at home — you have a strong affinity with lunar energies. This is a good time to get into writing, meditating, or just walking in the moonlight. All these will energise you. You love the stillness and mystery of the night.

You are a consummate homemaker. Even men born under this sign express the ‘feminine’ aspect of their character in their love of the kitchen, and activities that make them feel secure in their domestic space.

You love to collect or keep mementos — such as scrapbooks and other bits and pieces — that bring back memories of good times and people you care about. You have a great memory, not just for facts, but also any good turn or kindness you’ve received.

You can always talk about any subject with anyone. That retentive memory is a help here, as is your impartial, even-handed approach to people generally. Dealing with people comes naturally to you: add this to your shrewdness and intuition, and you are likely to be a good businessperson. You can also use these skills in managing your day-to-day life.

If you are a Cancer born between 22nd June and 3rd July you are under the double influence of Moon. You are emotional, loving and destined in marriage and love life. However, try to curb your changeable emotions. Don't let sentimentality rule you.

Were you born between 4th and 13th July? Well, Cancer, I see you have a very deep and penetrating mind and can sometimes be overly intense in relationships. Your loyalty is unconditional and you make the staunchest of friends.

As a Cancer born between 14th and 22nd July you are prone to a dreamy and idealistic attitude in life. You like the idea of being compassionate and forgiving to everyone and serve the needs of friends and family well. That’s fine but don’t forget that you have needs as well.

Public apology

I want to say sorry to my thesis-mates, Lou Adrian Nicomedes and Jaric Barrantes, for being a bitch.
The pressure from the deadlines and frustration over not finishing our thesis on time was not an excuse to acting impossibly difficult to deal with.
I have learned my lesson.
Please believe that people can change.
It's sad that I can't say this to you two in person.
Maybe someday I will.
Kapag nawala na yun hiya.
Thank you.