2010

"The point is, [he's] right, you know? It's not even just professionally -- in my personal life, I don't take any chances, either. I want to, I just...I can never seem to take that first step."
- J.D.

J.D.'s Narration: I guess it all comes down to what we're willing to risk.

J.D.'s Narration: For some of us, it's our feelings....

J.D.'s Narration: For others, it's our future....

J.D.'s Narration: For me, it was taking a risk, period. Even if that meant starting with my very first step.

[BACK ON THE SHELF] Bloom

5 syllables: nakakapagad. Story is told in the protagonist's POV. From start to finish all I did was hear her thoughts. A disappointing read. But, this book reminded me of the Love Stories series from my teenage years that I loved so much.

Talentadong bata

@find yahoooooo

On the bookshelf:

Bloom by Elizabeth Scott
Graveyard by Neil Gaiman
Alamat ng Gubat by Bob Ong
Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas by Bob Ong
Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong
ABNKKBSNPLAko by Bob Ong
No Choice But Seduction by Johanna Lindsey
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

On how to "@find", click here (shhhhh :P)

Post-shout out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): yeheyyyyyy

Surprise! (Dishes will not always turn out the way you want them to)

It's funny how I ended up serving a caldereta-tasting dish when I set about to cook menudo for today's lunch. During this holiday, I have been dabbling around the kitchen cooking our meals (but never pagsaing ng kanin), preparing merienda sandwiches (go, grow, glow present), breakfast pancakes or the no-sweat-pancit canton. Even our Christmas eve feast was concocted by yours truly. Anyway, there's the picture of my menudo -then assumed a caldereta taste in the end. I should probably start calling it "calderudo" or "menureta" (points! for originality :P).



Reasons behind the confusion:
1) I believe, with my heart and taste buds alike, the main culprit is the CDO liver spread. I saw it from the racks for the first time when I did our grocery and it was intended to be a... well... spread for tinapay. I didn't sample the CDO liver spread before putting it in the pot but I did smell it (I rely on my sense of smell when I season and to get an idea of the flavor) and it smelled sweet and of hotdogs or meatloaf. Weird :P. That whiff my nose inhaled at that moment was what I savored in my mouth an hour later.


2) I sprinkled more-than-the-average-menudo-pepper. The spiciness accentuated the richness of the tomato sauce and the other ingredients in the pot.
3.1) The CDO liver spread is paste-like and it messed with the thickness of the sauce. The dish turned out with a texture like that in caldereta.
3.2) While all that mixture was simmering, I did not place the lid fully-on. Liquid evaporated, leaving a thick sauce behind.
4) I added a spoon of sugar.

It turned out good, if you like thick, rich, flavor-punched sauces or if you're a fan of caldereta but wants to skip all the trouble of preparing it. My first ever menudo!... errr caldereta... calderudo/menureta!

Recipe:
1 small onion
4 cloves of garlic
2 small tomatoes
1/2 kilo pork, menudo cuts
1 can of CDO liver spread
1 large pack of tomato sauce
2 carrots
2 potatoes
bay leaves
salt
pepper
sugar

1) Saute garlic, onion and tomatoes. Sprinkle it with a bit of salt to extract the moisture - thus more flavor.
2) Add in the pork. Sprinkle again with salt plus pepper. It's important to season as you go along as this adds a layer of flavor to the dish.
3) If the pork has already lost its pinkness and has absorbed all that taste in the pot, add the CDO liver spread.
4) Pour the tomato sauce. Add water too. Let it simmer until pork is cooked.
5) Dump the potatoes, carrots and bay leaves. Season again with pepper. Wait until the veggies are done.
6) Ta-ta! Serve with a heart-skipping-smile.

Post shout-out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): This is a free advertisement of CDO and their CDO liver spread. Pay me! Pay me! Pay me!

[BACK ON THE SHELF] A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning

I was on the mood for something akin to Harry Potter or Spiderwick so I sought Amazon's "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed" (lame, i know, but it did the job :P) and it came up with this suggestion: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. I distinctly remember this is one of those books I know I'll be reading someday.
The story is told in a somewhat "Nanny Mcphee", fairy tale (don't think Disney) tone which sets the this-is-a-children's-book air (plus there are sparse word definitions inside that you'll feel like a child being taught English words for the first time). But, as the tale progressed, I discovered that this book is not "one for the kids". I found some of the book's adults' behavior distasteful. There were a couple of scenes that was a bit rated-PG for a 8 or 9 year old and disturbing for a young adult/adult reader. Acts I talk of hints lightly, heavily stressing the word lightly (*whooops* talk about contradiction), on the topic of pedophile. I finished reading the The Bad Beginning two days ago and have been putting off the next book in the series. The antagonist, Count Olaf, and his theater troupe of ruffians, "the adults", left me with a feeling of agitation at the end of the book. I was shouting "hey, that's foul!" in my mind when sexual innuendos were thrown towards one of the Baudelaire orphan, Violet with the pretty face. Added to that, there were enough physical violence which will make you recoil and think that it should not happen to kids.
From the sound of it, I know I reacted strongly. It's probably because of the assumption I had prior to reading: this is a book for the little tots, intensified by two years of knowing it's a book I'll be reading someday. I was handed something unexpected (too bad that something had never bode in me well) and it snatched the fairy tale I was anticipating for. Nevertheless, I'll see the series to its end with faith in "good will triumph over evil".

Post shout-out (a.k.a. senseless late reaction): It's so unfair! I want it back!

Disclaimer: I don't do reviews. Never been comfortable in formulating the words/structure to give in-/justice to a subject. The keyword here is: objective. When I let the words flow out, I am prodded by emotions. And nothing else. I am not one: objective. Therefore, this is not a review of any sort. I contemplated, did some body stretching then gathered inspiration. This is the result.

All along I thought it was Ethan Hawke

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

- Neftali Ricardo Reyes Basoalto

I first heard this in a Speech Communication class I attended. It's a good feeling to learn, albeit a pitiful memory capacity, that I still remember some things from the past - along with blunders such as the belief that it was Ethan Hawke doing the reading. :P

pick-up line ??

No one

"Do you have doubts about life? Are you unsure if it is really worth the trouble? Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person's face as you pass them on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. They are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing. Stand up and face the east. Now praise the sky and praise the light within each person under the sky. It's okay to be unsure. But praise, praise, praise."

- Miranda July

Singapura

I just had a "drinking session" with my cousin. There was no Bombay Sapphire Gin in sight, nor beer or, for that matter, any of those beverage that can inhibit your better judgment. But it felt like we were drinking. And I got drunk. From personal stories of past's undertakings, this year's triumphs and future plans. This is the closest I've felt with my pinsan.

X

Nanghingi ako ng x'mas gift. Ang ibibigay: friendship. What the H! Flashlight ang gusto ko, flashlight!

Pick-up line # ??

J: ano pasalubong ko?
G: me?

*based from a true-to-life conversation between friends

A purpose driven life

Today, I received my first Christmas gift for the year. Thank you.

fanfiction

I remember days spent reading fanfics

Lawson Christmas Party 2009

Lawson goes back to the 70's
Held at SMX Convention
December 4, 2009

New Moon

Dinner at Friday's and watched Twilight: New Moon

I miss not the place, but us in it

Pick-up line # 1

Alam mo para kang ligaw na kaluluwa
You lost your way...
then found me.


Yeah-bah

Still rusty, but pwede na 'di ba?!

*ORIGINAL*

Kwentong boy and girl # 3

Boy: Bakit ka ba sunod ng sunod?
Girl: Ito ang tinatawag na... follow your heart.

:P

*ORIGINAL*

Gigil

Bill out

Before the night ended, I was put on a dare. You know how you guide your index fingers (thumbs are optional) to form a rectangle/square to signal to the waiter that you want to have your bill, well I did that tonight, but not in this old-fashioned way. This is the new way to do it: eyes focused on the waiter, waited for the right moment to catch his eye... I sexily drew a heart in the air with my two hintuturo and mouthed the words, "bill out".

Amen

Love tips off

November the 13th

When does a date lose its meaning? How do you forget a year ago's celebration of this day? How do you live a year later resigned to the truth that you'll walk today differently?

Aware of passing moments, labeling each minute, counting every blink.

When will you stop?

As of yet untitled (inaantok na)

Feeble images, fed in flashes, assaulted the quiet bus ride. A behemoth in the stairs. A nori-green kaiju posed in that corner where the perpendicular stairs met. Of small hands grasping the hellion by its fat scaly tail. Thrusting it forward, as far as her frail arms can reach. Empty of armalite toy or a plastic espada, but she possess the beast and she's undefeatable. A carton box, big, labeled with words: LEMON-UNSO, FRAGILE, YOKOHAMA, JAPAN; the dragon came in it. Chopping boards, knives set, hot plates, body soap, olive oil, pureed garlic, loofah, dog-shaped slippers, power drill, saw, Packard Bell CPU, Nintendo64, and there it is, the leviathan sleeping quietly on its side. "Wow!", the other child, a boy, shouted in glee. A gift from his old man which will later be used against him by his ate. "Don't resist dictatorship or this will consume you." Instantly, he'll shut up. Until one day, their mother gave it to the basurero. Protests did not come, when the truth of his monster but a pitiful plastic reached the boy's comprehension and the girl is already perfecting her next weapon: blackmail.

It lived up to its purpose, I say. I hope that the next person it found taught it new tricks.

The behemoth, kaiju, beast, dragon, leviathan, monster.

"Gojira! Gojira!", a Japanese shouts in the background.

I love that movie.

Granny Goose's Tortillos

I've just seen the most unorthodox commercial on Philippine tv, that of Granny Goose's Tortillos (caught it after seeing papa Tom crying sexily). I'll be posting it here as soon as it's available online. My initial thought: it's like a made-for-tv one-act play. Love it.

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

- David Archuleta

Test V. Define the following:

bitter is what you call the fictional Karylle. She, with a pair of shears (that finished with her using bare destructive hands), single-handedly tore through her stepsister's wedding gown while it was on a mannequin. LL Righteous says, "She's just caught in the cruel fate of love misplaced". But still I thought, "Buti nga iniwan ka ni Ding Dong". bitter.

crippled is what Neng's been feeling starting last week, as she struggles through and try to restrain self-doubt, insecurities, past failures, mediocrity, old wounds from spilling over. As she has done since she learned Rapunzel and her Prince were having premarital sex up that tower. And they, unsurprisingly, had a child out of wedlock. crippled.

physically available is, beginning today, what I change my status to from being Single <3. Haha. physically available.

I am a human unfazed by technological comforts

I am a human unfazed by the benefits that come with technology (please see testimonal below). 2 months ago, my PC had let out its final breath, a long, painful suffering for both of us. When it finally died I did not even bother reviving it. It was during this time when I found a new hobby in buying pirated DVDs of U.S. tv series and playing it on our dusty, old, heavy Xbox (I sometimes think that it's a total waste of its full potential).

*Rant enters, coat swishing behind*

It is not due to above boldened fact that it happened. I was anticipating an evening with the group of interns at SGH, when absent-minded/distracted/removed from this world/careless/airheaded me picked up the Xbox's plug with my right hand and inserted it into the extension's socket held by my left. If I take this scene to a different setting, say Japan, this would not make its way into a weblog and my eyes are now following the handsome blackness of Dr. Preston Burke. As abnormal (or normal?) as our country is compared to its neighbor up North with the matter of power outlets running 220V, our 110V Xbox did not stand a chance. A marriage out of hell. It wasn't even inserted fully, when I heard a magnified version of a pop that you'll hear from pinching that plastic with small 'bubble rings' used to wrap electonics.
Anyway, I am now deeply contemplating whether I want or need the Xbox fixed, or if I am indeed a human indifferent to the refuge offered by technology (short-lived perhaps, but still a haven I may never experience in this ordinary life).

____________________________________________________________________________________
Testimonal:
I went through six years without a mobile phone. Disconnected from the world but not as unreachable as you may deem. My friends and I will have to make some pre-arrangements to gimiks, like where they'll meet me at a specified time. While the rest of the universe passed through the phases of showing off (latest, most expensive), topping off (colored? polyphonic? with camera? woah tv?!) and eventually died down to cellphones as simply a necessity, I had none. Beforehand, I've broken up with my long-time affair with T.V. I remember mornings at elementary school spent crying over not being able to stay home to watch the finale of 'Nadia' or 'Snow White'. Today, kids will not experience these heartaches because they can always catch a missed episode in an online video streaming site or through pirated DVDs. Anyway, I woke up one day to broken televisions at home and I just learned not to need them anymore.

Pamimintang

"Isa sa pinakamasarap na feeling sa mundo ay yung gusto mo tingnan yun crush mo...












pero 'di mo magawa

















kasi nakatingin s'ya sa iyo."

A Christmas without my paboritong pinsan

It's hard to say goodbye to those you hold so dearly, just as hard to say hello to someone you want to hold so tight.

- Jeffrey C. Datur

Scribbling pauses

I stop.
A hair strand away from a moment. My eyes soften, seeming to see an ocean view against the stark white wall through a blind of deep black lashes. The sound of Grey's dying heart on TV transforms into faint white noise.

Wait!

A phrase had already formed in the left temporal lobe of my brain to describe what just happened.

I found my perch in the blogosphere.

Arizona: Episode 01

Lying, my body 45 degrees twisted, right half of eyeglass frame flattened, I felt-slash-heard the unfamiliar rumble across the mattress. I slowly untwisted to the opposite direction, half-wondering, half-knowing where it came from. I let it out of its constraints, held onto it and read:

joann.coffee tau tom.u lyk?tambay lang..

My furry brows made a bridge of itself for the hundredth time this week as my brain rummages through old archives of conversations like this between us. I stopped. I replied. Then my mind formed the sound, "hmmm". Tomorrow I'll know.

Tanong: Ano ang tawag sa babaeng torpe?

Sagot: Mahinhin ;))

O.O.Y.

May mga eksena sa gabi na 'di nabubura ng paghimbing. Habang pikit, ito'y nailulutong bugnot at sa pagdilat ay ihahaing kunot (sa balat man o sa kalamnang nag-iingay, "bok... bok... bok... bok").

Blank stares

Laughter does not cease because it might cause stomach pain. It goes away when all you can concentrate on is the pain from missing ' and the regret of losing '.

The Itsi bitsy spider climb up the water spout;

Today, a billboard of a skin product reminded me of a friend, whom reminded me of him. The one who was once my Itsi.

In rare pauses, I mits him.

Labels

"Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organize and label the entire world around them?"
- Hofstadter to Cooper

After hitting a google search on the subject. Trivia: There is a band named Suicidal Tendencies.


Not everybody has the "buwanang bisita"


One of the many abubots I place sentimental value to. But good news! I'm cured! I have recently embraced clean living at my work desk.


Maldita irl


Model: Eugene H. Krabb
What does it pinch: ... pututuys


Christmas gift from a gay friend


I hate seafoods


I am a charity case

October 16, 2009
12:51 AM

,l,,,

Ano daw yun kasabihan? 'pag 'di ka makatulog, may nilalang na nag-iisip sa iyo. Well... sumpain siya!

October 16, 2009
12:05 AM

I am lovesick

Nakakainis! I want to write. But I don't have the words. I don't even know If I want the words to be known. S*** talaga!

wishing she's somebody who can write on will,
Jo

Promoting brother pig!!!!!

As of yet untitled

Anong gagawin mo kung ikaw ay may aso, asong mataba, asong may buntot na mahaba, asong tulad ng kay Robert Neville, asong may ngalang binyag ng taong 'di tumupad sa kanyang pangako/dumurog sa iyong puso/nag-desisyong mag-move on bago mo pa malaman at nang natanggap mo ang balita, sementado na ang kanyang desisyon na iwan ka/binalewala ang pakiusap mong magparamdam sa petsang ito: ika-30 ng Setyembre nang taong ito? Ipapa-change name mo ba si doggy? Ipamimigay? Ililigaw? Gawing pulutan? Gilitan?
Unfortunately for you, kahit anong piliin mo, kapangalan n'ya ang isang sikat na lokal na biskwit. Yun may palamang choco fudge. There goes the 'O'.

"Oi ang sakit", ang palahaw ni,
Jo

I love, Oh so destructive Ondoy

What happened yesterday, September 26, 2009, was unexpected. At least for me. 10 AM: I roused myself from the dreamless, restful, delicious sleep I was having because I wanted to take advantage of my brother's absence so I can play in his PC (sidenote: I'll be kicked soon from my guild due to inactivity). Even from my one-eyed awake-d-ness, I did notice that the rain was extra heavy. I had 30 minutes with my game, when I felt my mother fussing in the background, then heard her shouting threats from upstairs, recalled a littany of yours truly's "crimes of Christmas past", mentioned her current medical condition and stressed my incapability to be a household help. She let all these out first before I deciphered the secret code: storm outside, gonna flood soon, need to transport all the valuables upstairs, move your lazy big ass (mothers have their own ways).

10:30 AM: I carried the following to higher ground (had help from mother where it's needed):

1) 4 CPUs

2) 4 18" CRT monitors

3) a sampayan-worth of clothes

4) 5 gallons of mineral water

5) 2 wood cabinet's full of stuff and stuffed toys

6) 1 5-seater narra sofa

7) 1 stove-top oven

8) 1 washing machine plus dryer

9) 1 30" flat screen tv

Did I mention that it was just my mother and me at home? Brother pig's at school and male cousin's at work. Our two hopes out there, somewhere. We were just finishing up downstairs when ankle-deep flood water came in.

Upstairs, just when I quoted "all's well that ends well", my mother had this crazy idea to abandon the house for fear of getting trapped inside. She was already feeling some chest constrictions/difficulty in breathing, from fatigue, stress, panic, during this time that I did not want to contribute more to it so I gave in. Plus, I'm still my mother's daughter, I believed her when she said the flood water "will rise above the level of everyone's roofs". 11:30 AM: Carrying a small bag, we waded into the water which was up to our knees, with no umbrella over our heads and all the while assuming the role of the braver, in-command and more dependable of us two. Our goal was just to get out of the subdivision. At the gates, we were already drenched, hope was stumped. It was like seeing our village as a basin waiting be filled with water up to the brim. Water was rushing in, in strong current. We turned our backs and sought shelter nearby.
7:45 PM Mama and I started the trek back home. From the area we were at water was already gone from the street but by the time we reached the front of our house, half of my body was already submerged in icky, creamy goodness.
A day after, I'd seen on tv the tragedy Ondoy brought and it pricked my heart. Quoting another Shakespeare:
When sorrows come, they come not single spies
But in battalions
Hamlet: Act 4, Scene 5

I am sorry for those who had it worse. But, I am glad I experienced "ang hagupit ni Ondoy". Happy that I had it with my mama. We could have skipped that adventure outside the comfort of our home and just stayed in because flood water, apparently, cannot rise to that height (over the roof) in our area. It reconciled this rift between us. And with my brother. I love her more now. I appreciate her more. I'll miss her more too when she's already gone. My superhero of a mother.

Loves her Ma,
Jo

Ingrata

"You didn't raise me.
I did my own growing up," said the child to her mother.

- Hello Schoolgirl

My sedative

They were sitting
They were sitting on the Strawberry Swing
Every moment was so precious
They were sitting
They were talking under Strawberry Swing
Everybody was for fighting
Wouldn't wanna waste a thing
Cold, cold water bring me 'round
Now my feet won't touch the ground
Cold, cold water what ya say?
When it's such…
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day
I remember
We were walking up to Strawberry Swing
I can't wait until the morning
Wouldn't wanna change a thing
People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna just curve away?
When it's such…
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day
Ahhh...
Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time
Could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

Could be blue,
Could be gray
Without you I’m just miles away
Could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

- Coldplay

An exercise of Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

aches aches aches aches aches aches aches aches aches
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aches lower back aches aches aches aches aches aches
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aches aches aches aches heart aches aches aches aches
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Mga utang kong larawan

Another bootcamper gone. Bye Van. Sarap cheese cake.

2 weeks ago. My usual Friday group all had something to do/somewhere to go to so I've decided to "attach" myself to Jeff's schedule (my hunk of a cousin). After going to the gym, I treated him to dinner. Despite his resistance of my kakulitan, shooo-ing me away from morning to evening, I believe we share the same opinion that the day ended great!

Gina was elected to be the day's coach (and I get to be the ball boy :P) I earned, not points, but 2 bodily hits, one in the front side of my right arm and another in the back side of the left arm, in a one minute span (thank you Alex!). Gina was always at our back, yelling "do a follow through, do a follow through or I'm gonna kick your ass" (just kidding! Gina does not yell! and he doesn't kick ass!). He patiently taught us how to hit the ball, the proper pose/position when hitting the ball, to always follow throughhhhhhhhhh and to swing your hips baby.

After that, Din and I headed to the mall. Ate at Almon Marina, I had sub+spaghetti+salad, then went shopping :D

Hates photobucket/-slideshow,
Jo

"Hay, ang hirap mo kalimutan"

WARNING: Heavily random thoughts ahead...

Guy was bossy, short-tempered, impatient; to the girl he was gentle, caring. She shied away from him, did not want the kind of attention he was giving. But fate has decided, it was meant to be. Even in the not so perfect world, they fell in love.
It was unconventional, their love was. The girl couldn't tell others how they are. Could not gush over unexpected sweet moments to friends, cry and run to the closest soul after their quarrels. When she said yes to him, what would have been a happy news was a secret even to her family.

[translated to Filipino]
Sabi ni friend: iiyak mo lahat ngayon. seryoso. wag mo pigilan. basta asap.
Reply nya: bakit 'pag di asap?
Friend: 'pag di asap, 'pag naalala mo yun maiiyak ka ulit. reminisce mo na ngayon at forget kung gusto mo. optional yun forget hahaha...

The end.

Inaakusahan na 'di minahal or nagmahal na tulad nang sa isa. Ang sagot: nauna lang siya. Nagkaroon ng mas mahabang panahon makapaghanda para sa nalalapit na paghihiwalay. Unforseen goodbye. At kahit sa huling sandali, sinusupil pa rin ang mga luha na dapat sana'y malayang dumadaloy mula sa kanyang mga mata. Nalipasan na ng pagluhang A.S.A.P. Marahil ito ang kanyang karma.

Many will ask, and she will always tell that there was a boy. He was her first... will always be her first.

Don't mind me,
Jo

I love facebuko...

Please vote for CSJ89's Mecha-Labaw!

Our good friend Christian San Jose recently joined the DBH 10K contest at Design By Humans, where the winning design will receive a whopping $10,000 cash prize! Let's help him out by registering and voting for his illustration!

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I feel bad (W. Orld says, "Whatever.")

• I suspect I have ADHD-I. I am not letting on much but I am struggling with this everyday and is seriously considering to seek professional help.

• One remedy I thought of to alleviate disorder above is to make myself isolated, untisocial, a caveman. No more laughing. Smiling is allowed. Think misery.

• I am inarticulate. In some ways. That's why I like writing. Best. Because I get the time I need to formulate the feelings/ideas I want out into words.

• I rely too much on others to decide for me. I just don't trust ME.
  

• I did not finish the tasks I have set for myself today. And I wanted to be productive and efficient.

• I have 8 unread books in my bedroom.

• I cannot get myself to start reading them. I am afraid I'm past that phase of filling out hobbies with "reading". What past-time am I left with then?
  

• And, like my responsibilities, they are piling up. I need to stop acquiring one every two weeks.

• I wish I have a retentive memory. Think RAM not ROM.
  

• I almost made it through the day without eating "junk food" but I just had to buy a bar of chocolate to snack on on my way home.

• I wasn't able to go *there* because I slept late last night and when my alarm rang this morning, my body went "5 more minutes please". And as they say, "the rest is his..." XXXXX *eeeeeeeng* wrong! 5 turned into 60.

• I am getting an average of 4 hours of sleep everyday.

• I discovered that ex-es cannot stay friends or just simply get in touch. I tried those two. Being the fickle-minded me, I sought excuses why "us" can still work or can go at it another try. But they were just that, excuses. We are both bound to get hurt (I force feelings into me + He gets hopeful + I get more guilty and hurt for him + He'll cry again in the end + I'll cry too).
  

• I haven't told him yet (see item above).

• I don't have anybody to share all these. I have friends but I don't think they'd completely understand or care. Or me get that caring I need.

• I am alone.

• I believe I'd die from rheumatic heart disease or depression. Depression's cooler.

• I think I'm too kind. I want to be a b*tch for a day. Just not care for somebody's feeling. To not be available to the needy. To give one word answer to questions or not answer at all.

• Even examples above are rather kind. Petty b*tchiness. Maybe give somebody his/her death sentence in love, work or life? Perhaps?

• I originally intended to write only two.

• It's 10:18 PM and incrementing and incrementing and incrementing. I told myself earlier I will not do anything but sleep as soon as I get home.

• And I wanted to idolize Winnie the Pooh. This is a sacrilege to Pooh's philosophy. I wanted to make him proud.
  

Iznogoud,
Jo

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we fall in *line*

and i saw him waiting
felt he had waited
i made a cruel move
gave in to that fleeting pang of weakness
i am sorry

One million eight hundred thousand oomphfs and amfs

Isa na lang kulang.
Tama bang maghintay pa?
Last na ito.
Promise.
Then operation strikethrough na.

Cryptic,
Jo

...backed up by somebody suggesting i might have ADHD

quiz by facebook

There's a Wilson in House

I did not realize it until the 5th episode and my birthday's next week.

Hmmm.....

Pag-ibig nga kaya

Di na maalala pa’no nagsimula
Ikaw ang laging nasa isip ko bawat araw
Laging ikaw ang aking nakikita
Ano ba ang nadarama ko ‘pag ikaw ay kasama

Ganyan din ang nadarama ko
Tuwing ika’y lalapit sa akin
Ako’y parang natutulala
Di ko malaman ang sasabihin ko

Pag-ibig nga kaya
Pareho ang nadarama
Ito ba ang simula
Di na mapipigilan
Pag-ibig nga ito
Sana’y ‘di matapos ang nadaramang ito
Pag-ibig nga kaya ito,
Pagkat nararamdaman, pag-ibig ating natagpuan

Malalaman mo lamang
Ang nararamdaman
Na ako ay magiging ikaw
Damdamin nati’y magsama

Laman ng puso ko’y ganyan din
Ikaw ay narito sa akin
Di ko hahayaang mawalay
Dito ka sa aking piling

Gagawin lahat
Upang ‘di magkalayo
Dito lang ako, di kita iiwan
Kahit sandali di ko papayagan mawalay ka sa akin

I got a brow job

and girls did it hurt!
It is true what they say about eyebrow threading. Mapapaluha ka.

AGAINST YOUR WILL.

But I must say the pain is tolerable. Para lang ginugunting ang kilay mo, at sinama ang balat (haha). At para ka lang rin uminom ng Matador, gumuguhit (hahaha).
I should thank the threading lady. She was so supportive throughout the surgery. I will not forget her words of comfort: "Ang hirap talaga ma'am 'pag virgin pa" (referring to the eyebrows). I salute all the threading ladies out there. Not all human beings are capable of hurting another human being. It takes guts. And they are given the opportunity everyday (OMG).

One good advice if you're going to do this. Ipunin nyo lahat ng problema nyo sa buhay and think of them when the threading lady is already doing her job. I bet your problems are more painful than when a hair from your brow is forcefully uprooted. It worked for me :D.

Nagmamapait,
Jo


P.S. My eyebrow threading experience wasn't really that bad. It's true that mangingilid talaga 'yun luha, involuntarily. There is pain (yes) from the trimming especially in the upper area and the 'tail' part of the brows. It took 20 minutes to finish both brows. The flesh around will get reddish and it will sting a bit when sweat gets to it.
You'll live.

I'd be your bread pudding

Why not?
The way to make a bread pudding is to have a bread and soak it in a rich mixture of custard (cream, eggs, sugar, butter, vanilla extract, spices). And just like the bread pudding, absorbent ako sa kung anu-anong flavors around me (you may call it emotions) and it becomes my mood for the day. Ahay, I should stop tuning in to others' energy. Focus on your own frequency! >.<

Side story: I received a sweet message today. I don't know if it was intended (praying it was :D) or I'm just putting meaning into it (kasi ilusyunada ako XD)
Bea says (or something close): Sana ako na lang. Sana ako pa rin. Sana ako na lang uli.

Anyway...
Backtrack to last week. I was asked this question: "Kung bugtong ka, alin ka?" It's almost a week late but here's my response (in a cheezy pick-up line format):

Girl: *nag-smile*
Boy: Ask me.
Girl: What?
Boy: Ask me, kung bugtong ako alin ako.
Girl: Sige, kung bugtong ka alin ka?
Boy: 'Eto ako,

Ang bakal na bakod
sa buong baranggay,
inaayos ang magulong
magkakapitbahay.

Girl: Sirit.
Boy: Braces sa ngipin.
Girl: Eh bakit 'yan?
Boy: 'cause I wanna be there everytime you smile.


Yikeeee, ang cheezy talaga! Haha another corny one. The bugtong's not mine but the rest is an original. O-ye o-ye!

So that concludes my entry. Thank you, thank you. Isa na lang utang ko: "Kung prutas ka, ano ka?"

:P,

Jo (I'm a random mess)

When it rains, it pours

I received the best news today *yipeee*. At 'di pa nagtapos dun. May gumatong pa sa happiness ko. So ano nang tawag dun? Bliss? The downside is, I can't tell more about these two (kasi secret po sila shhhh).
Tapos on my way home, the movie "A Very Special Love" was playing inside the bus I was in. Ngayon ko lang na-appreciate yun movie. And I know why. And I'm still not telling! Ahaha <3. Ito na lang i-share ko: ang sarap manuyo ng isang papa John Lloyd.

Hibernating from hereon 'til Sunday,
Jo

The perfect ending to this day

Created with flickr slideshow.

Linya para sa isang ekis

sayang, you had your chance. you blew it away. 'wag mo ako habulin ngayon.

and now i give you a real gay...
picture of the super twins!

- blogging at work. i'm dead. ^_^L

Original title was subjected to the board of censors. Title edited.
'Di na kita tutuksuhing gay. Ever!
ekis a.k.a. Vincent ^_^

Kanta para sa akin

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they
Keep runnin' down my face
Why did you turn away

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta me feeling crazy
(crazy)
How can you walk away
(When)
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me
You're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying

Baby why can't we just, just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance
I can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be enough

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
I'll be waiting...

by Elliot Yamin



Kill me now...

Hindi lahat ng gising pa ay naglalaba

And right after that an ipis appeared in my monitor screen. At grown-up ipis siya! Na-beat ko ata reaction time ko sa pag-alis sa kinauupuan ko. To make it worse, nakisabay lang kapatid ko sa pagtili ko ('yun natatangi kong kapatid, na lalaki, na 21 years old at 250 lbs na ata). Then we were laughing at how silly the situation is. We just can't bond over normal things/happenings :P Kanya-kanyang phobia lang 'yan.

Signing off,

Jo

P.S. Thanks Bayer! *mwahugs*

Namumutla

Girl: *nag-smile*
Boy: Hey, namumutla ba ako?
Girl: Hindi naman. Bakit mo natanong?
Boy: Kasi feeling ko lahat ng dugo ko dumaloy papunta sa puso kong nag malfunction dahil sa iyo.

Ang corny! Ahahaha
But this is an original. Yeah-bah!



The highlights of my day ^_^

Created with flickr slideshow.

One way to create traffic to your space (LOL)

"The author merely wishes to add insult to injury, nothing else."

Hey, kaya natin ito

It gives me comfort to know that somewhere out there another soul is carrying the same weight as I do.

10 years from now, we'll look back at it all.

Then we'll say, "Siyet, ang husay ko".

Pangako 'yan.

I'm gonna blog about my phone. Just try and stop me.

I finally have my own mobile phone. After 6 years of being a hermit, I say hoooray! Bought it online at http://www.ebuystore.com.ph, had it delivered at the office and received it yesterday at around 9am. It's a Sony Ericsson C902. I'd chosen it for 2 reasons: its 5MP camera and FM radio feature. I read a lot of good reviews about its camera, and it's supposed to be among the top 5 now in the market for it. Although I must say picture quality is a bit sharp for me, but it's the best you can get for taking those "impromptu" moments with friends :P (I say my best bud Ged's N95's is still the best I've seen so far). And did I mention that it's ultra-slim? ultra-sleek? and uber sexy? I guess that makes up for everything else. Seriously, I fall in love with my phone everytime I look at it. It's so flat. The camera is hidden beneath a slide out cover so there are no bulges. The keypad backlight is white and when you open the camera cover, the blue lighting at the back (near the lens) is activated. It's all glossy at the front and its color is titanium silver. Very pretty. I believe it's the phone used in the James Bond movie Quantum of Solace.

Anyway, I'm gonna be using it too to take photos for this blog. So expect at least 2 pictures per entry :P

These are some shots Ged took while I was unwrapping the package. I like to indulge him sometimes. Haha.