...the gilmore girls...

4.04 - Chicken or Beef
written by Jane Espenson
directed by Chris Long
transcript by Stacy with assistance by Canopus

OPEN AT LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Rory pulls up in her car, grabs some bags from the trunk, then walks into the house. An alarm starts blaring.]
LORELAI: Oh, crap! [tries to turn off the alarm]
RORY: What's going on? Is it the smoke detector? Are we on fire?
LORELAI: It's not the smoke detector, it's the alarm!
RORY: What alarm?
LORELAI: Our alarm.
RORY: We don't have an alarm.
LORELAI: Well, then, we have really angry rats. Did you cut your hair?
RORY: Well, I just trimmed it.
LORELAI: You didn't tell me you were cutting your hair.
RORY: It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
LORELAI: A spur-of-the-moment, "let's not tell my mother I'm pulling a G.I. Jane"?
RORY: Are we seriously gonna have this conversation now during the air raid?
LORELAI: You're right. Come on. [leads her to the other side of the room]
RORY: What are we doing?
LORELAI: I figured out that there is a motion detector, and if you stand over here, it can't see you and calms down.
RORY: Great, so what now?
LORELAI: We wait. So why didn't you tell me you were getting your hair cut?
RORY: It's just a trim.
LORELAI: To the Braille Institute, it's just a trim.
RORY: Do you like it?
LORELAI: Will you put it back if I don't?
RORY: Mom!
LORELAI: Yes, I like it.
RORY: Thank you.
[the alarm stops]
RORY: Oh, thank God.
LORELAI: Feels good when it's over, huh?
RORY: This is crazy. When did we get an alarm?
LORELAI: Well, apparently, Kirk. . .
RORY: Oh, no.
LORELAI: . . .has recently joined the Stars Hollow Security Company.
RORY: Oh, no.
LORELAI: And apparently, now that I'm the pretty spinster living all alone, he's concerned for my safety.
RORY: Did he tell you all this?
LORELAI: Do you think I labeled myself the pretty spinster?
RORY: What did you say?
LORELAI: I haven't talked to him face-to-face. I come home to this and there was a note and his card and his gun.
RORY: Oh, jeez!
LORELAI: Yeah, and then when I called the alarm-response center to complain about the alarm, no one answered. I had to leave a message with Meg - she sweeps up.
RORY: I can't even believe there's a security company in Stars Hollow. Nothing ever happens here.
LORELAI: Oh, that is not true. Plenty happens here.
RORY: Like what?
LORELAI: Like, people now break into your houses and install alarm systems.
RORY: I heard about that.
LORELAI: And we have a new mail carrier.
RORY: We do?
LORELAI: Yeah, so now if you wanna get your mail, you just have to go see Miss Patty.
RORY: Why?
LORELAI: 'Cause that's where he brings it. He brings Babette's mail to Andrew's, Norma's mail to the deli, and Taylor still hasn't found his mail, which I have to admit is kind of fun.
RORY: I rescind my previous statement. This place is hopping.
LORELAI: So, did you eat yet?
RORY: Nope. I thought I'd let you feed me.
LORELAI: Sure. I can feed you, but I can't know if you're getting your hair cut.
RORY: I will never do anything again without telling you - happy?
LORELAI: I don't know. I'm finding this whole guilt thing rather satisfying. [Rory starts to walk away] No, no, where are you going? [The alarm starts blaring again] Agh! Why did you do that?
RORY: I was gonna get my laundry!
LORELAI: You made it mad!
RORY: I didn't mean to!
LORELAI: Back in the corner, back in the corner!
RORY: Oh.
LORELAI: No place like home, huh?
RORY: Yeah.
[opening credits]

CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai is making a trail of Post-It notes on the floor through the house; Rory comes out of her bedroom]
RORY: Mom?
LORELAI: Follow the Post-It's.
RORY: Does our life seem at all ridiculous to you?
LORELAI: I spent all morning carefully tracking that motion detector.
RORY: What an excellent use of your time.
LORELAI: We're good as long as we stay on the path.
RORY: So I should follow the yellow stick road?
LORELAI: We'll be here all week, try the veal. Stop.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Read.
RORY: "Crouch down and hop." Oh, come on.
LORELAI: The motion-detector beam at the top of the staircase dips very low over there.
RORY: You seriously want me to crouch down and hop?
LORELAI: Like a little hunchbacked bunny.
RORY: You know, I had decided that if I ever went to therapy, I was gonna leave you out of it, but now. . .
LORELAI: Okay, you can stand up.
RORY: Did you at least call the stupid security company again?
LORELAI: Yes, Meg sends her love. Don't worry - I'll stop by on my way to the inn. And what are your plans today, Persis Khambata?
RORY: Well, today, I'm going to do nothing but hang out in town, read, veg, drink coffee, and have the perfect Stars Hollow day.
LORELAI: Look out. I get to go over to the inn and hear a contractor laugh at me every time I say, "But that won't cost too much more, right?"
RORY: Enjoy.
LORELAI: Late lunch at Luke's?
RORY: You're on. So, uh, which way do I go?
LORELAI: Oh, just follow the Post-It's.
RORY: But they're going in two different directions.
LORELAI: They are?
RORY: Look.
LORELAI: Oh. I must have kicked some out of the way by accident.
RORY: Well, which one do I take?
LORELAI: Which looks more intentional?
RORY: No Post-It path looks intentional.
LORELAI: I'm drawing a complete blank.
RORY: You seriously don't remember?
LORELAI: Sorry.
RORY: Well, how are we supposed to get out of our house?
[Lorelai, imitating Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie, crosses her arms, nods her head, and blinks]
LORELAI: Unng!
RORY: I hate Kirk.

CUT TO THE GAZEBO
[Rory is sitting on the bench reading and listening to music. A man walks up and sets down a box]
RORY: Whoa. What's going on?
MAN: I'm just setting things up for tomorrow.
RORY: Oh, tomorrow. What's -
MAN 2: Heads up!
[another man throws a package of tablecloths to the man in the gazebo]
RORY: Whoa.
MAN: I think you may need to move.
RORY: Yeah, I kinda got that. Excuse me. What's tomorrow?
[Across the lawn, Lindsay and her mom are talking with a wedding planner]
LINDSAY: . . .tons of tulle so that everything looks like frosting.
MRS. LISTER: She's our only daughter - frost the town.
LINDSAY: Now, where should we put the poster? I want to make sure everybody sees it.
MRS. LISTER: Oh, what about next to the cake?
LINDSAY: Yes, next to the cake.
[Rory walks away in the other direction]

CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES
[Rory walks in]
RORY: Lane.
LANE: Rory.
RORY: Have you heard of a phone? Because as my friend, it is your responsibility to use it to call me and tell me that my ex-boyfriend's wedding is on Sunday so I'm not accidentally in it.
LANE: What?
RORY: I'm sitting out in the gazebo, reading, and this guy almost brains me with a stack of tablecloths.
LANE: Oh, that's right, they're having their reception in the town square.
RORY: Yes, and Lindsay was out there holding a giant picture of her with Dean, and. . .
LANE: Oh my God, did she see you?
RORY: I don't think so. I do a pretty good idiot run when I need to.
LANE: I'm sorry, I meant to tell you. I just didn't know you were coming home this weekend. It totally slipped my mind. Things have been so crazy. I just figured I'd tell you when we talked, and then we didn't, and. . .oh, I'm sorry, can you hold on for a sec?
[She opens an armoire. Zach and Brian are inside]
ZACH: Not cool, Lane.
LANE: I'm sorry, guys.
BRIAN: Fourth time today.
LANE: Well, I thought Rory was my mom.
ZACH: The resemblance is uncanny.
BRIAN: We should get your mom a bell like a cat.
RORY: What's going on?
LANE: We're having a band meeting. We need to figure out what to do about a guitarist.
BRIAN: I think I got a splinter.
ZACH: You know that a splinter can get into your bloodstream, go straight to your heart, and kill you.
BRIAN: Why would you tell me that?
ZACH: Whatever, dude. This is lame. I'm gonna bail.
LANE: Zach, come on.
BRIAN: We need to find a guitarist.
LANE: That's right. We have come too far to let the band fall apart just because Dave -
ZACH: Hey, do not say the "d" word, Lane.
LANE: But -
ZACH: Don't.
LANE: Dave -
ZACH: Dave is dead to me. Comprendo? Dead. Cover the mirror, rip a shirt, that guy doesn't exist.
BRIAN: He just went to college, Zach.
ZACH: No, he did not just go to college. He walked out on his art, man. He walked out on his sound. Do you think a sound is so easy to find? Did you ever see that Glenn Miller movie? For two hours, Jimmy Stewart's walking around, "I gotta find a sound. I gotta find a sound." Well, we had a sound and Dave took that sound to freaking California. You don't come back from California, man. It changes you.
LANE: What did you expect him to do - not go to college?
ZACH: No true rock 'n' roller goes to college!
RORY: Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.
ZACH: What?
RORY: Yeah, and, uh, Dexter Holland of The Offspring got his PhD in molecular biology at USC. Greg Ginn of Black Flag graduated from UCLA. The guy from Bad Religion got his masters in geology from UCLA, and he's working on his PhD in evolutionary biology at Cornell.
ZACH: Lane, she's your friend.
RORY: I'm sorry. Um, I'm going. I'll call you later.
LANE: Hey, are you mad?
RORY: No, I'm not, I promise. I'm just - I'm just a little surprised. I mean, Dean's wedding. . .
LANE: I know.
RORY: But it's okay. It just means that I have to be a little more careful about where I go this weekend, that's all.
LANE: Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow. We're using the garage - guitar auditions.
RORY: Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.
ZACH: Shut up, shut up, shut up. Weezer did not go to Harvard.
BRIAN: Not the whole band, just the lead -
ZACH: Get away from me! I mean it.
RORY: Bye.
LANE: Bye.
[Rory leaves. She sees Dean out front on the sidewalk]
RORY: Hi.
DEAN: Hi. Uh, were you. . .
RORY: Oh, I was at, uh, Lane's.
DEAN: Right, Lane's. Um.
RORY: Um.
DEAN: So, you're home this weekend.
RORY: Yeah, I, uh, I ran out of clean clothes and quarters, so. . .how are things?
DEAN: Good. You?
RORY: Good.
DEAN: You like Yale?
RORY: I love Yale.
DEAN: I figured.
RORY: And Connecticut State?
DEAN: It's. . .it's good.
RORY: Oh, good. I'm glad it's good. I mean, not that I would have had any recourse if it wasn't, but, uh, this makes my lack of recourse a lot easier to deal with. So, I see you've taken over the town.
DEAN: Oh, yeah. Uh, well, Lindsay thought. . .she likes the gazebo, and. . .
RORY: And it's her wedding.
DEAN: It is her wedding.
RORY: And your wedding. I mean, it's your wedding, too.
DEAN: Yes, it is. It's my wedding, too.
RORY: Well, it's nice. It's, um, it's pretty. It looks like heaven or a Victoria's Secret commercial, which, to some people is basically the same thing.
DEAN: I didn't know you'd be home this weekend.
RORY: It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing.
DEAN: Because if I had known, I would have, you know, invited you.
RORY: Oh. Oh, well, it's. . .
DEAN: I mean, I didn't want you to think I was just not inviting you.
RORY: No, I didn't think that.
DEAN: I just figured you'd be at school.
RORY: 'Cause you're logical.
DEAN: I just didn't know.
RORY: No, I know you didn't know.
DEAN: I didn't want you to think -
RORY: No, I didn't think. I don't think. I go to Yale now. They think for you.
DEAN: But, hey, since you are here, come.
RORY: Come?
DEAN: To my wedding. Come to my wedding.
RORY: Oh, Dean. . .
DEAN: You and Lorelai, I want you to.
RORY: Well. . .
DEAN: Chicken or beef?
RORY: What?
DEAN: Wait, beef. Of course, beef. I mean, the two of you are definitely beef. I mean, not like you resemble beef or anything.
RORY: You know, you don't even have to -
DEAN: Okay, so, noon at the church. I'll be the one in the tux. And don't worry, we didn't write our own vows and no one's singing opera. I know you think that's lame.
RORY: Oh, no, well, it's a wedding. It's supposed to be. . .operatic.
DEAN: Okay, so, I better get over there. Lindsay's expecting me. Uh, so, I'll just see you two tomorrow.
RORY: But. . .

CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Lorelai and Rory are sitting at a table]
LORELAI: So, he invited us to his wedding.
RORY: And we're having beef.
LORELAI: Well, what was his body language like?
RORY: Tall.
LORELAI: No, I mean, did he squirm or back away when he invited you or was he all darty-eyed?
RORY: Not much squirming, no backing away, but there was a little bit of darty-eye.
LORELAI: So, he was nervous.
RORY: Well, we were both nervous. I mean, we didn't expect to run into each other, and I think he probably just invited us 'cause he felt like he had to, to be nice.
LORELAI: That does sound like Dean.
RORY: So, what do we do? Do we go?
LORELAI: Oh, I can't decide this. He's your ex-boyfriend.
RORY: It seems weird that we go.
LORELAI: Then we don't go.
RORY: But if we don't go, it may look like we're trying to make some kind of statement.
LORELAI: Then we go.
RORY: If I had just stayed at Lane's for two more minutes. . .
LORELAI: Yeah, fate.
RORY: Yes, it is fate. Do we ignore fate?
LORELAI: I don't know. Do you have any important papers due soon?
RORY: Why?
LORELAI: Just in case.
RORY: Fate's gonna flunk me?
LORELAI: It's always a possibility.
RORY: Well, then that's it. We are going.
LUKE: Going where?
RORY: Dean's wedding. Fate's making us.
LORELAI: I hope fate will cough up forty bucks for a salad spinner for him.
LUKE: Please, there is no fate.
LORELAI: What do you mean there is no fate? Of course there is fate.
LUKE: There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing. You cannot read a palm. Tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis, and the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.
LORELAI: I totally knew you were gonna say that.
LUKE: I came over here. My fault.
LORELAI: I read your mind. It spoke to me. We're psychic.
LUKE: Enjoy the fries.
LORELAI: So where does this leave us?
RORY: Well, I think that Dean's gonna expect us to go, and it is his day, and I don't want him to feel like I don't care about him.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: I just want him to be happy.
LORELAI: Okay, we'll get him a salad spinner first thing tomorrow morning.
RORY: Thank you.
[Miss Patty walks in]
MISS PATTY: Oh, there you are. Honey, I've got your mail.
LORELAI: Oh, great.
MISS PATTY: Oh, I'm exhausted. I've been looking all over town for you.
LORELAI: Oh, Patty, you could have just left me a message. I would have stopped by and picked it up.
MISS PATTY: Oh, there was something marked urgent in there, and I just wanted to make sure you got it.
LORELAI: Hm, thank you.
MISS PATTY: All right, I'm leaving. Oh, I'm gonna kill that mail carrier. I don't care if he doesn't have a tongue. [leaves]
RORY: Our new mail carrier doesn't have a tongue?
LORELAI: You've got to be kidding me.
RORY: That's what Patty just said.
LORELAI: No, Taylor has sent me a cease and desist order on the inn.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: [reads letter] "Dear Lorelai Gilmore, it has come to the attention of the Stars Hollow Historical Preservation Society that you and Miss Sookie St. James intend to commence construction on the Dragonfly Inn. Any proposed renovations must be submitted, discussed, and approved by the Stars Hollow Historical Preservation Society. We must therefore ask that all work halt until such time that this procedure has been followed. Thank you, and have a historical day." Is he kidding?
RORY: What are you gonna do?
LORELAI: I'm going to talk to him.
RORY: Cool.
LORELAI: Don't say cool like that. It's gonna be very pleasant.
RORY: I thought you said you were gonna go talk to Taylor.
LORELAI: I own my own business now, Rory. I'm gonna have to deal with tiny men like Taylor all the time. You can't go around yelling at people, no matter how historical they might be.
RORY: Bummer.
LORELAI: You have to learn to separate the personal from the business.
RORY: Okay.
[they walk outside and head toward the soda shop]
LORELAI: Remember in The Godfather, Michael telling Sonny how he was gonna kill Tattaglia and Captain McCluskey in that Italian restaurant? He lays out the whole thing very calmly, very unemotionally, 'cause that's what you do in business.
RORY: Yeah, but then he went and shot two guys in the head.
LORELAI: Okay, but I wasn't describing that scene.

CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
CUSTOMER: Goodnight.
LUKE: Goodnight. Thanks.
[A group of boys are walking toward the diner]
BOYS: [singing] We do or die for Stars Hollow High! We do or die for Stars Hollow High! It's the one we fight and fall for, it's the one we give our all for.
LUKE: Oh, goody.
[the boys enter the diner]
BOYS: Stars Hollow High! Whoo!
BOY 1: That is our Stars Hollow High fight song.
LUKE: Could've sworn it was Mozart. What is this, guys?
KYLE: Pit stop!
BOYS: Whoo!
KYLE: Bachelor party, phase one is over.
BOY 2: Our boy Dean here is tying the knot.
LUKE: Look, I was just closing up.
DEAN: Luke!
LUKE: Dean!
DEAN: That's funny.
LUKE: I wasn't even trying.
KYLE: We just need to refuel for phase two, sir. It won't take long.
DEAN: You wouldn't turn away a man on his wedding day, would you?
LUKE: It's not your wedding day yet.
BOY 1: That's what I keep telling him, dude. It's your last day of freedom.
BOY 2: Hey, we should get strippers, right?
DEAN: And cake.
BOY 3: Hey, my name's Luke, too. We should start a club or something.
LUKE: Yeah, that would be swell. Look, guys, why don't you go sit down over there? I'll make some coffee.
DEAN: Tomorrow is the big day, man - big day.
LUKE: You're tipping there, Dean. Watch him.
KYLE: I got him, sir. We really appreciate this, sir.
LUKE: Stop calling me that.
DEAN: He's a good guy, really.
LUKE: So, what was phase one?
KYLE: A case of beer in the JC Penney parking lot, then batting cages and laser tag.
DEAN: I've decided that I really like beer.
KYLE: I'm the designated driver.
LUKE: Good man.
KYLE: I'm in the Navy now, you know.
LUKE: Uniform tipped me off.
KYLE: My older cousins did two-year stints. It paid for their college and stuff, so I joined up. Of course, we weren't fighting international skirmishes on two or three dangerous fronts like we are now.
LUKE: Hey, what are you doing?
BOY 2: Sugar football.
LUKE: Don't.
KYLE: Come on, guys, respect the establishment. They're still kids.
LUKE: I got a better idea, guys. How about I whip up some pancakes real fast, help soak up whatever it is you drank?
KYLE: Sounds good. We'll be needing energy for phase two.
BOY 2: Strippers, right? We gotta get strippers.
BOY 3: Hey, how much do you give a stripper?
BOY 1: Well, that depends on what she does.
KYLE: Are they really prostitutes? 'Cause I'd feel bad if they were prostitutes.
LUKE: Look, guys, I gotta go in the back for a couple seconds. Don't drink anymore. Don't play jets. Don't jump on the furniture. Just sit still, okay?
BOY 2: And do what?
LUKE: I don't know. Make up a dirty version of the fight song or something.
BOY 1: Yeah!
BOY 2: Great idea!
DEAN: [mumbles] Rory.
BOY 3: What did he say?
BOY 1: Oh, he is so toasted.
DEAN: [mumbles] Rory.
KYLE: Did he say what I think he said?
LUKE: Hey guys, you know what I think? I think it's real late and that maybe you ought to cancel phase two.
BOY 1: No way.
KYLE: Hear him out, fellas.
LUKE: I mean, think about it, guys - how you gonna beat laser tag?
BOY 1: I don't know.
BOY 2: Aw, is Dean sick?
LUKE: He just needs his rest. Kyle, why don't you march your friends out of here? I'll take care of the groom, and he'll see you all tomorrow.
KYLE: He's right, guys. Let's saddle up.
BOY 2: Aren't we getting pancakes?
BOY 1: I'm not feeling good.
LUKE: Come on, big guy.
DEAN: What?
LUKE: Try to walk.
[The boys leave, singing the fight song. Luke takes Dean upstairs to his apartment]
LUKE: Here we are.
DEAN: She's smart, man. You know, she's so smart.
LUKE: I know, I know.
DEAN: She could probably fix the world, you know?
LUKE: Right, right. She could team up with Kyle - her brains, his brawn.
DEAN: No, not Kyle - Rory.
LUKE: Almost there.
DEAN: She's the one, you know?
[Luke walks Dean over to the bed]
LUKE: Come on, Dean, just slide down there, stop talking.
DEAN: And the hair - pretty hair. She has the prettiest hair. And that head. What is that?
LUKE: Just your shoes. Shh.
DEAN: I miss her. Why didn't she love me?

CUT TO THE DRAGONFLY INN
[Luke walks upstairs to the apartment. Dean is sitting on the bed]
LUKE: So, you're up.
DEAN: Yeah, I'm up. It took me a minute or two to figure out where I am, but. . .
LUKE: Oh, that's right. You've never been here before.
DEAN: Yeah, it's not that I remembered. I just kinda looked out the window and that's how I could tell.
LUKE: Good, smart. [hands him a drink] Little concoction of mine - it'll help with the hangover.
DEAN: Guess I had a beer or two too many last night, huh?
LUKE: Yeah, it happens.
DEAN: Hope the guys didn't bug you too much.
LUKE: No, they were fine.
DEAN: Good.
LUKE: So, you're all dressed there?
DEAN: Yeah, uh, you know, big day - getting married.
LUKE: Getting married.
DEAN: Um, I'm due in the church in about an hour.
LUKE: Hey, uh, Dean. . .
DEAN: And I still gotta pick up my tux.
LUKE: Yeah, right.
DEAN: Um, thanks for everything, Luke.
LUKE: Yeah, sure. Good luck.

CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Rory and Lane are walking down the street]
RORY: So, a total strikeout, huh?
LANE: Total. And, you know, at first, I felt bad for them - so lacking in talent, yet so clueless. Then I just felt bad for their guitars.
RORY: Where are all the good young musicians these days?
LANE: My ears wanted to fly off my head. I'm going to the music store to look at things I can't afford. Want to come?
RORY: I have to go get ready for this.
LANE: Right. Tell me how it goes.
RORY: I will.
[Lane walks away. Luke walks out of the market]
RORY: Hey, Luke.
LUKE: Hey, Rory. Um, where's your mom?
RORY: Uh, around somewhere. Why?
LUKE: I thought I'd find her at Doose's. Did she go back to the inn, or. . .
RORY: She was going back to the inn, then she was picking up a wedding present for Dean from us, because she hates it when people send gifts later. And then depending on time, I was either gonna meet her back at home or at the church.
LUKE: She have her cell on her?
RORY: I think it's dead. What's going on?
LUKE: Or a pager or something?
RORY: Is something wrong?
LUKE: Oh, no, I just need to check something with her.
RORY: Well, we can stop by after the wedding.
LUKE: Don't go to the wedding.
RORY: What?
LUKE: Uh, don't go to Dean's wedding.
RORY: Why?
LUKE: I just. . .don't go. Trust me.
RORY: Okay.
LUKE: It'd just be better this way.
RORY: Okay.
LUKE: So, you're not going?
RORY: I guess not.
LUKE: Okay, good. Good. I'll see you guys later.
RORY: Yeah, Luke, I'll see you later.
LUKE: Okay.

CUT TO SIDEWALK
[Lorelai walks out of a store. Kirk walks up to her]
KIRK: Lorelai, do you have a minute?
LORELAI: Oh, sure, Kirk.
KIRK: We've had a successful disconnection.
LORELAI: No more alarm?
KIRK: No more alarm.
LORELAI: Fantastic.
KIRK: The roofer will be out tomorrow. The repair should take about a day.
LORELAI: I'm not gonna inquire about that right now.
KIRK: It's all taken care of, and I want to apologize for any inconvenience.
LORELAI: Aw, it was no big deal.
KIRK: I have this strong sense of chivalry when it comes to women living alone.
LORELAI: That's very nice.
KIRK: My family tree dates back to a 12th-century knight.
LORELAI: Wow.
KIRK: As a kid, I thought that meant we were related to Ted Knight. I wrote him a lot of letters. He never responded.
LORELAI: That's cute, though.
KIRK: I just want you to feel safe.
LORELAI: You really do, don't you, Kirk?
KIRK: So, I hope you don't mind my watching out for you.
LORELAI: Not at all. [she kisses his cheek]
KIRK: Thank you. I'll see you around.
LORELAI: See ya.
[Kirk walks away as Rory walks over]
RORY: Hey.
LORELAI: Ooh, hey. I think I found the perfect wedding present for Dean. It's sweet, not too personal, classy, yet cheap.
RORY: We're not going.
LORELAI: What?
RORY: Luke was looking for you and ran into me, and he was all nervous and everything, and then he finally just said we shouldn't go.
LORELAI: What does that mean?
RORY: I think it means that we shouldn't go.
LORELAI: Did he give a reason?
RORY: Not really.
LORELAI: I'll go talk to him.
RORY: No, Mom, he seemed really serious, and I think that if you saw him you'd feel the same way. He was kind of upset.
LORELAI: About Dean's wedding?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: So, we're not going?
RORY: I think it's better that we don't.
LORELAI: Okay. Mystery, though.
RORY: Kind of.
LORELAI: Well, you've got your nothing-to-do weekend back.
RORY: Yeah, got that back. Um, Mom, Kirk's following us in a little clowny car.
LORELAI: He's watching out for us.
RORY: Okay.

CUT TO THE TOWN SQUARE
[Rory watches from afar as Dean and Lindsay walk out of the church after their wedding ceremony]
THE END

...Striking Line...

DEAN: I miss her. Why didn't she love me?

...What could have happened if Luke finished this satement...

LUKE: Hey, uh, Dean. . .

...What could have happened if...

LUKE: Don't go to the wedding.

LUKE: It'd just be better this way.